Thursday, February 19, 2015

Fifty Shades of Red: Are you sure you are alright?

Today I started a form of visual therapy. It's hard to explain or I don't know the technical name of it yet. So I will just describe what I did and the extreme discomfort, both physical and mental, it caused.

If you have read my blogs before, you know I have a brain injury specifically to the region of my brain around the occipital lobe of my brain. This means that my brain greatly lacks the ability to filter out a lot of visual stimuli leading to dizziness, nausea, and a general sense of wanting to shut out a lot of my environment.

It also, as today once again affirmed, has greatly affected my ability to hold onto short term memories. I went through a battery of tests today just to see where my areas of trouble were and I was, sad to say, not surprised on many of them.

The therapy session consisted of first a memory quiz. I was asked to remember five things (I don't have a clue what they were now). I was then told to repeat them. This was difficult and frustrating.

This memory challenge had 3 main sequences: letters, numbers, and finally words. Simple you would think, right? Haha, no! Finally on the word challenge, I thought that I would help myself and try to look around the room so I could associate the words with specific things in the room.

It only worked on the color red because of the red exit sign clearly visible.

Then we changed it up a little. The therapist had me find shapes within shapes, or had me match graphics with other graphics (once again hard to explain).

One that sticks out in mind was finding the letter "L" in a circle. All these tests were draining on my mental capacity. Thank goodness no word searches were used....yet.

So this brings me to the fifty shades of red. This describes the facial cues that I was giving off as the tests progressed. I guess that my face got increasingly red as the tests progressed. My hoodie almost matched the shade of my face.

Therapy continues to be a great struggle. It is incredibly frustrating. I know it is helping and will continue to help but the progress is slow.

This is a life test I will pass, I must pass. More tomorrow once my brain re-balances (HAHAHAHA).


  1. The brain is so complex. One would logically assume that anyone who could recall the events of a therapy session with such detail, would be able to remember five things. I applaud your ability to fend off the frustration that must be so strong in order to work toward your goals. Prayers for continued strength, Joe.

  2. Joe, you are such a great example of an overcomer. Yet, over and over you are given more obstacles to handle. I don't understand it but what I do understand is in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”